A Great Wife Is a Servant

Today in prayer, as I prayed for my husband, I heard the Lord with such clarity. He anchored my spirit in Matthew 23:11 and 12: The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. This was not a general teaching on humility. This was a personal positioning.

The Holy Spirit began to reiterate something He has been forming in me across seasons. I am my husband’s helper. I serve my husband. Not as a reduction of identity, but as a placement into God entrusted authority through humility. In the Kingdom, God does not exalt those who exalt themselves in entitlement. He exalts those who humble themselves to serve.

The Lord shifted my focus away from what I need from my husband and placed it squarely on who I am called to be for him. What do I carry for him? What do I replenish in him? What order am I responsible to steward in his world? What am I helping him with? How am I helping him? Am I really helping him? This posture is humility, and humility is the pathway God uses to entrust greater influence, not diminish it. Humility is not where our life gets smaller. It is where God guarantees His order. When we choose the servant’s posture, we are not minimizing our role. We are being positioned for exaltation by God Himself.

As I prayed, the Holy Spirit brought me back to Genesis. Eve was taken from Adam’s rib. She did not originate apart from him. She was positioned with him. The rib does not function independently of the heart it protects. Wherever Adam was going, Eve was designed to go. When Adam was ordered, the environment Eve lived within would be ordered. If Adam was sustained, Eve would be sustained.

This revelation began to reshape how I even pray for myself. I do not have to labor to secure my own positioning when covenant alignment already carries provision. Where my husband is going, I am meant to be. My assignment is not separation. It is partnership in divine order. This is why I do not have to be anxious about myself. When I contend for what God is doing in my husband, I am not abandoning my own destiny. I am stepping into covenant order where his rise becomes our rise, and his alignment shapes our alignment and our covering.

My role as a helper mirrors how the Holy Spirit ministers to me.

The Holy Spirit intercedes.

The Holy Spirit restores order.

The Holy Spirit replenishes life.

The Holy Spirit speaks truth into chaos.

The Holy Spirit strengthens, counsels, advocates, and sustains.

This is the same posture I carry toward my husband.

I am his intercessor. I inquire of the Lord for him and call his world back into divine alignment.

I am his life replenisher, restoring what is poured out.

I am his prophetic voice, speaking the breath of life into places that look dry.

I am his advocate, protecting his assignment and supporting his calling.

I am his wise counsel, offering clarity, not contention.

Genesis 1 reminds us that the earth was dark and void, yet the Holy Spirit hovered, and God spoke, Let there be. Order came through decree. In Ezekiel 37, dry bones responded to prophetic command. Life was restored through obedience to the word of the Lord.

This is how I help. I speak life. I call order. I remain faithful in the assignment. I replenish with words filled with the breath of life.

This revelation requires practical stewardship, not mystical abstraction.

As my husband labors in his calling, I steward the operations of our household. I manage rhythms, systems, order, flow, and sustainability. In our home, this is my lane, not by culture, but by grace and capacity.

I help raise our children as part of his legacy, healthy, whole, ordered, and secure. I steward their formation with intentionality and clarity. I release any sense of ownership from my role as a mother and recommit to stewarding what belongs to God. These children belong to the Lord first, and I serve God by raising them well.

I am also my husband’s lover. I honor his physical and emotional needs with availability, beauty, care, and intentional presence. This too is ministry. Covenant intimacy is not separate from spiritual stewardship.

I am his advocate. I defend his integrity, protect his name, strengthen his voice, and stand with him when pressure increases.

Servanthood does not make me invisible. It makes me indispensable.

It is very clear to me that every single thing I have and every thing I once believed I owned belongs to God from the very beginning. This revelation has settled my heart in the truth of God’s ownership and my stewardship.

My husband belongs to God.

My children belong to God.

My calling belongs to God.

My future belongs to God.

Everything I touch is entrusted, not owned. My inheritance is in Christ, and what I steward on earth belongs to the Lord.

So when I serve my husband, I serve God.

When I raise our children, I serve God.

When I steward our home, I serve God.

This is worship expressed through obedience.

This posture must begin in the private places before it ever manifests publicly. Before I serve platforms, people, assignments, or audiences, I must serve my covenant. Faithfulness in unseen stewardship prepares the ground for visible fruit.

As I wrote this, I became aware that this invitation is not mine alone.

If you are a wife reading this, the Holy Spirit may also be inviting you to examine posture rather than position, alignment rather than expectation, stewardship rather than ownership. Not as pressure, comparison, or performance, but as a holy realignment of heart.

What might shift in our marriages if our focus moved from what we need to receive to who we are called to become?

What might come into order if our words consistently carried the breath of life?

What might be restored if humility became our place of strength rather than vulnerability?

This alignment does not only bring victory to our homes. It brings clarity, flow, and favor to our own individual assignments as well. When life is ordered in the private places, momentum increases in the public ones. The desires God has planted in us are not delayed by surrender. They are unlocked by it. What once felt heavy, resisted, or unclear begins to move with grace when we are positioned correctly.

The Holy Spirit leads each home uniquely, but He always honors surrender, obedience, and willing alignment.

Today, let us declare that we no longer live to preserve our own lives. Scripture teaches that those who cling to their lives will lose them, but those who surrender their lives for Christ will gain true life. Let’s release self-preservation and embrace divine alignment.

Lord, cause our actions to match this revelation. That obedience would not remain theoretical, but embodied, and that humility would not remain language, but posture expressed through action.

We receive grace to listen well, follow well, serve well, speak life well, and steward faithfully.

We rest where You ordained for us to be.

Amen.

If this reflection resonated with you and you’d like to go deeper into the theology of surrender, strength, and victory in marriage, you can order my book Armored in Submission: Wives Unlocking Victory in Marriage Through Surrender.